Duchess of Desire
by mikanlove
Summary: She rode out into the night, her lips upturned in an assertive smirk, even if it didn't display her true feelings. With him, she knew that they were unstoppable. When she felt as if hope were slipping through her fingers no matter how desperately she tried to cling to it, he told her not to give up, and that she could get anything her heart desired if she wanted it enough.
1. Prologue

_The palace was dark, save for the miniscule amount of moonlight that managed to sneak past the curtains and illuminate strips of the room. It was quiet, if you could get past the buzz of silence and occasional cough that echoed down the corridors. It was questionable whether the sound arose concern, or perhaps comfort that one wasn't alone in such a massive place._

 _The palace, right now, was also empty. Or, it would be, had a girl not been standing alone in the nearly-empty halls, a glass of water in hand. The honest truth was, she'd gotten up from her bed to go fetch a drink herself, as she found it petulant to ask favors of the maids at such an hour. She hadn't been blessed with a pair of arms and legs to sit around helplessly, after all._

 _However, she would be lying if she said the glass of water was the reason she now stood ominously in front of her room, her hand hovered only inches away from the doorknob in hesitation. She understood that her worries were likely overdrawn and unnecessary, but…_

 _As she heard another cough ring out from a nearby room, she finally made up her resolve. She dropped her hand back to her side, now approaching the room right beside her own. Quickly, as if afraid she'd change her mind mid-way, the girl opened the door. She turned toward the bed, facing her mother._

 _It was in this moment that she thought of that saying. The one that said, "some things should be better left unknown"._

 _Once her eyes landed on the Duchess, she couldn't tear her eyes away. Her previously spirited and youthful mother now appeared frail and sickly. Her skin was pale, almost the color of paper. It was as if all the life had been sucked out of the woman. Her arm hung lifelessly over the edge of the bed, as if she were reaching out for help that never came. Even while in such a state, she managed to offer a small smile to the girl who'd just entered the room._

 _Feeling a frenzy of emotions wash over her, the ravenette shifted her gaze from her mother over toward a man who resided near the foot of the bed._

" _Is this why you forbid me from seeing her?" She asked, her tone accusatory. While she knew he did it to protect her feelings, her composure was slowly deteriorating by the second and crumbling apart. The only way she knew how to make herself feel better, was by blaming someone else. "How can you call yourself a father? I cannot believe you've been hiding this from me for weeks!"_

 _Her father wore a blank expression. It seemed that he'd already come to terms with reality, and found no use in engaging in such an argument. "Why are you still awake at this hour? The staff told me you'd been put to bed."_

" _You're avoiding the question," she snapped, taking a step closer. "I've already seen enough. Tell me the truth. Tell it to my face so that I don't misunderstand." Tears had already begun to drip down her cheeks. A mixture of frustration and fear caused them to continue forming._

" _Misaki—"_

" _Stop worrying about my feelings for once, please! I'm almost eighteen years old! Stop treating me like a child!" The words flew from her lips without permission. She knew she'd regret her rashness in the future, but she couldn't stop herself. Suddenly, her knees buckled beneath her, and she found herself now sitting on the floor, her head rested up against the bedside. Some of her fighting spirit appeared to have worn off. "I want to help Mom…"_

 _He kneeled beside her, nodding his head solemnly. "For now, the most you can do is stay by her side. Don't allow her to feel lonely. Eventually, with her daughter by her side, I'm sure she'll get better." He told her. She knew his words were meant to soothe her, and that a person's sickness could not be cured just like that… But for her own sake, she chose to believe him._

 _Just to grant herself some peace of mind._

 **-o-**

 **are your eyes deceiving you? is mikanlove really posting after 8 months of inactivity? or is this perhaps a mass hallucination? you'll never know :)**

 **just kidding! ya girl is back with a banger. i haven't been super inspired to write for a while (i wrote lil tidbits for fun here and there but y'know), but i am back!**

 **this chapter is a shortie because it's the prologue and is meant to be a taste of what ur gonna be reading! the following chapters will be longer do not fret**


	2. I

The girl stood in front of a window, her eyes trained on somewhere in the distance. Her hands were clasped together behind her back, as she continued to stand there as if for no purpose at all. A few moments passed. She let out a sigh, before taking her hair down from its previous updo, allowing the raven locks to spill over her shoulders. She took a seat on a large chair that was conveniently placed nearby.

A few days had passed since Misaki found out of her mother's illness. After the night had passed, it appeared she'd forgotten about it the next morning. Her attitude was bright once more as it always was, and nothing of that night was mentioned again. Of course, nobody truly believed she'd forgotten, however it appeared she understood and accepted the circumstances. While this was by no means a _bad_ thing, as it was really quite the opposite, it took a few by surprise—especially those who had known her for such extensive amounts of time.

"Ah, Misaki. Fancy seeing you here."

She was snapped back to reality by a familiar voice. Her gaze fell on a young man with vibrant blonde hair, and golden eyes.

"Fancy seeing me here?" She knew his words were playful, yet she somehow felt the need to retort. "Funny. If I recall correctly, I'm the one who invited you here." She shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly. "You know, I almost thought you weren't coming."

He approached her slowly. "Ah, yes," he began. "Only you would invite such a busy person like me over without providing reason." It was true, Misaki had only requested that he come over to discuss _matters_ with her, as she put it.

She laughed as if only to humor him. "And yet, only you would come over and see me without reason." She gestured to a seat across from her, allowing him permission to sit. He took a seat.

"You say that as if you invited anyone else in the first place," he mused, still waiting for the conversation to begin. If there was anything he'd learned from his many years of knowing Misaki, it was that she didn't enjoy pointless conversation and beating around the bush. There's no way she'd only invite him over for some silly chit-chat.

"I'm just fooling around with you. You started it, anyway." She rested her head against the back of the chair, now staring straight at her visitor. "Anyway, Igarashi…"

He almost seemed to flinch at the use of his last name. "Igarashi?"

"That's your name, is it not?" The question was put bluntly.

"A name that you never call me by." The only time she'd called him that was when they first met, or now when they attended formal events. He knew something was up. "What happened?"

Misaki averted her eyes, now viewing the wall as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. "You knew." Her tone wasn't accusing or aggressive this time, but instead, it held a sense of understanding.

Tora, the one also known as Igarashi, observed her expression carefully. "I know a lot of things. You're going to have to elaborate." He had a feeling he knew what she was referencing, however didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"Is she…" Her amber eyes now met his gold ones as she spoke, her voice unwavering. "Is she going to die, Tora?"

His eyes widened in shock at the sudden question. She phrased it as if he were able to determine whether Minako lived or not. "Duchess Ayuzawa is strong," he told her. It wasn't exactly an answer, nor was it dismissal of her question.

"That's not what I asked." Her tone was stern. They both knew what she wanted to hear, and she was just waiting for him to say it. Her eyes silently begged him for reassurance. Reassurance that he could not give.

"It's a possibility," he responded, finally breaking eye contact with her. "I'm sorry if it's not the answer you wanted, but it's the truth."

Her grip on the armrest tightened. She knew that he was being a good friend by being honest with her, but right now, honesty was a lot to handle. "Go."

It appeared that Tora had anticipated this kind of response, as he'd already been standing even before her command. He paced to the door, resting his hand on her shoulder briefly as he walked by before exiting.

"Get a grip, Misaki."

 **-o-**

The next morning, Misaki woke up extra early. Only shortly after dawn, she was already clad in some loose-fitting pants and an oversized top. She threw on a cloak to shield herself from the chilly morning air, before sneaking downstairs. It wasn't a costume she was wearing, per se, but just something to fit in with the crowd.

These days, Misaki hadn't been feeling quite herself. The usual spark within her felt duller, and her memorable resilience and strength had been lacking. She felt that maybe this sudden realization occured due to her interaction with Tora the other day. Normally, she'd have reacted a lot differently to the situation, however…

It was as if she'd grown weak.

Misaki hated that feeling more than anything. She absolutely despised feeling helpless, vulnerable, sentimental… It all pretty much summed up how she'd been feeling recently. And if she refused to do something about it, she'd only continue on down this dark path until to the point of no return.

She wouldn't allow herself to reach such a point.

Peeking around the corner of the hall, she cursed inwardly as she noticed the guards at the main entrance. They'd surely alert her father about her departure if they saw her leave, if they even allowed her to exit in the first place.

Now, Misaki wasn't one who particularly enjoyed being secretive for no reason, however, her parents tended to have an overprotective nature. They'd send at least a couple guards to escort her into town, and right now, she just needed some alone time. Besides, she was trying to stay under the radar while in town, and sending guards out with her completely ridded any chances of that being the case.

Luckily for the girl, this was no new obstacle for her. After many years of sneaking out, she had a back-up plan for most situations. Misaki snuck back up to her room, keeping her footsteps light against the parquetry flooring.

She approached her window, peering her head out to gauge the distance from her room to the ground. It wasn't _that_ far down… besides, the ground wasn't her desired destination. She just needed to make sure the fall wouldn't kill her, had something happened to go wrong. Her goal was to somehow get over the palace walls.

"Misaki."

She jumped at the sound of her name being called out, nearly losing balance and falling head-first out the window. Misaki quickly whipped around, giving the girl who stood in the doorway a glance.

"Suzuna," she breathed, placing her hand over her chest to calm herself. "You gave me quite a fright. What are you doing up this early?" She asked the question with the intention of distracting her sister from the fact that she'd been caught mid-escape.

"I could ask the same to you." Without missing a beat, Suzuna tossed something to Misaki. The ravenette caught it, before gasping in surprise upon realizing what it was. Her rope! "I snuck it back from Dad. You should really be more discreet next time."

She laughed sheepishly in response. Last time Misaki had executed one of her grand escapes, she got caught by her father. He'd came into her room to check on her, only to notice her absence. She probably wasn't very smart for choosing a day where she was needed for a meeting…

By the time she got home that day, her family awaited for her arrival at the entrance. She was welcomed by the sight of her handy-dandy rope bunched up in her father's hand and received an earful about safety precautions and her irresponsibility. Of course, it's been getting harder to leave due to her lack of resources, which she supposed was the intent of it.

As bad as it sounded, perhaps just this once, her mother's illness worked in her favor. With her father and staff distracted, there was little to no chance she'd be caught by them.

"Thank you." Misaki was grateful for her sister's understanding and assistance. Even though she preferred to stay out of trouble, Suzuna always had her back when it came to making up excuses and such. Out of the two, her younger sister definitely tended to keep a cooler head in stressful or pressuring situations.

"Don't thank me," she replied. One could assume she was saying this out of modesty, had it not been for her next sentence. "Mom told me to give it to you."

Misaki felt a pang in her chest. "She did?" Even in a time where she should be selfish, her mother still proved to be such a compassionate person. She felt guilty for thinking such negative things about her only moments ago.

"Go, clear your head." Suzuna turned to leave, before peering over her shoulder to add in a last-minute thought. "And, since your cover has been blown, you might as well just leave through the front door."

It was then that Misaki truly understood the amount of support she had. There were so many people there to help her cope with the hard times… Whether it be her family or Tora, there were so many people who cared. She had no reason to complain. They would always stand beside her and take the fall for her. She was lucky to be surrounded by such people, even if she didn't deserve it.

 **-o-**

 **thank you to CutesyCoco, ArrowBee, Lollipop, Readerrr, Padfoot Starfyre, and two anonymous guests for ur reviews :) ur words were so fRICKIN nice i stg**

 **also, to answer star's review, i likely will not be resuming Law's Affair. i appreciate all your love and support for the story, but since i've written that two years ago, my writing has changed a lot (for the better, i'd like to hope), and i feel as if that'd mess up some consistency. with some of my past stories, i do feel like i may not have put my best effort and succeeded in telling the stories i want to tell (basically i had a good plot but didn't execute it very well) and with my newer works, i'm more confident in my abilities to do so. :) sorry for any let-downs!**


End file.
